Hannah Blackiston

December 13, 2021

-Lad Bible


New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern has confirmed Auckland residents are legally allowed to get back to their orgies after the city’s Covid-19 lockdown.

That’s for groups up to 25 people for anyone who needs to double-check their guest list…

Speaking to Seven Sharp hosts Hilary Barry and Jeremy Wells, Ardern was confirming the ins and outs of New Zealand’s reopening schedule which is following the ‘traffic light system’.

The system will mark an end to lockdowns in New Zealand and sees the introduction of vaccine passports.

“I can confirm that Tinder liaisons have reopened,” Ardern told the TV programme.

She further clarified with: “It’s not strictly embedded in the traffic light system but um, it is a given, up to 25 actually, in a red area.”

Barry quickly shut the conversation down after that confirmation, but orgy groups everywhere were already rejoicing.

The traffic light system has been introduced in response to New Zealand dealing with a Delta outbreak and will show which areas are experiencing health system pressure from COVID cases.

A green light has few restrictions, orange brings mask-wearing and distancing, while red has limits on gatherings, including for fully vaccinated citizens.

So, that’s 25 at an orgy even in a red zone. Seems pretty fair to me.

This isn’t the first time Ardern has been awkwardly put on the spot about whether people can meet up to make the beast with two backs.

Earlier this year, the Prime Minister commented on comedian Chris Parker’s video, which asked whether orgies should have a sign-in sheet.

Ardern dropped a casual ’embarrassed face’ emoji on the vid, proving she’s always watching what New Zealand’s horniest residents are doing.

New Zealand is currently at orange and red light settings with additional restrictions for Auckland.

As of December 15, Auckland will be opening its previously closed ‘black border’, which will allow citizens to travel for any reason.

Earlier this year, Ardern topped Fortune Magazine’s list of the world’s greatest leaders and was recognised for her work during the first phase of the pandemic in 2020.