Mister Retrops

April 27, 2022

-Not The Bee


A veritably crazy Brit named Deborah Hodge has “married” her cat in order to keep future landlords from separating her from her beloved pet.

Deborah previously had to give up two huskies and another cat, and while her current landlord has allowed her to keep a cat named India, she isn’t taking any chances.

Deborah’s friend is a legally ordained something-or-a-rather and agreed to do a civil ceremony that I really hope won’t stand up in a court of law.

On April 19, in east London, the pair tied the knot. Well… Deborah tied the knot. Her “spouse” doesn’t have thumbs.

According to Wales Online, Hodge said,

I had nothing to lose and everything to gain so I married my cat! I recited vows under the universe that no man will ever tear myself and India apart.

I set out my intention that I would never be separated from the animal I adore. I can’t be without India.

She is truly a sensation, she is so friendly and amazing. She is fundamentally the most important thing in my life after my children.

By marrying India, I need any future landlords to know that we come as a package and we cannot be separated under any circumstances as she is as important to me as the children.

Deborah wore a tuxedo and cinched a bowtie around India’s neck. Friends and guests celebrated the odd occasion by having a picnic in the sunshine.

Sadly, Deborah’s children did not attend because they apparently believed (for some strange reason) that their mother has gone crazy.

I wanted to be able to show physically, by holding the ceremony in front of my friends even though they thought I was bonkers, that I am very serious.

I had a group of friends there for the ceremony – they all think I’ve gone bat[poo] crazy, but we all had a lovely day. My kids weren’t there on the day; they just think that mummy has lost the plot!

And how better to sum up the occasion. “Mummy has lost the plot.”

And as for India, you ask?

Well, she’s a cat and blissfully unaware of what any of this means.